phase of motherhood

How to Deal With a New Phase of Motherhood

I’m entering a new phase of motherhood. 

I am now a mother of an adult son (18 years old) and an adult stepson (30 years old).

My babies are gone! 

To say I’m riding the roller coaster of emotions is an understatement. 

You know the feeling, or even multiple feelings, you get when you’re on a roller coaster inching up toward that first big hill? 

There’s fear of the unknown. 

Anxiety about how I’ll respond – laugh, cry, wet my pants?!

Excitement because I know it’ll be fun. (Surely it’ll be fun?!)  

Part of me wants to yell “Stop!  Get me off this thing!”  While another part wants to get to the top and feel the exhilaration of letting go.  

I arrived at the top of the big hill with my son’s recent 18th birthday.  Now the pace is picking up, and I’m quickly heading into that first loop that includes graduation and going off to college.

I’m on one of the craziest roller coaster rides of my life.  

If you’re a mother, I imagine you know what I’m experiencing. 

In fact, each phase of motherhood has brought a variety of emotions. But this one… 

I’ll admit I have some fear because I’ve not been here before. 

I’m a bit anxious about how I’ll respond to this season.

I’m definitely excited about experiencing this new season with him.  

But still, so many feelings. 

Dealing with a new phase of motherhood. Some tips and encouragement. #motherhood #phaseoflife #faithandmotherhood Click To Tweet

I imagine you’ve had times in your life when you’ve had multiple emotions taking up space in your life.  You might even be going through one of those seasons right now. 

During this phase of motherhood, I’ve been thinking a lot about legacy.  

Have I taught him everything he needs to know?

Is he prepared? 

Did I do a good job? 

Will he be ready to spread his wings and fly?

There’s still so much to teach and to tell him but so little time?!

Some things I’m learning during this time that might help you if you’re going through a similar time: 

Take a deep breath.

Feel the feelings. 

Acknowledge the emotions. 

Respond.  Allow yourself to laugh, to cry, to be quiet, to talk, to seek counsel.  

There’s no right or wrong way to deal with emotions.  And there’s no right or wrong emotion to have.  We all respond to events differently.  But please don’t deny your emotions.  Give them space to exist.  Explore them. Ride the ride.  

No matter your phase of motherhood or where your children are, you’re okay.  They are okay.  You haven’t completely screwed them up.  (My mom worried about that for years, but I think I turned out alright 😉   

But…

Make today count.  

If you’re happy with how you’ve been writing your legacy, keep writing it well. 

If there are some things you’re afraid you’ve messed up or left out, you have today.  It doesn’t matter how old you are or how old they are. 

Write a new sentence today.

Start a new chapter.  

From one mother’s heart to another, I urge you to make Jesus the highlight of your legacy. 

With Him, you’re going to be okay.

With Him, your babies and grandbabies are going to be okay.  

Every night (to this day!) I tell Ethan, “Mama loves you and Jesus loves you.” 

It’s the legacy I want to leave:  for him to know I love him and that Jesus loves them too.

To all the moms who are riding the roller coaster, take a deep breath…I know it’s going to be okay.  I just have to believe it.  

To the moms who are on the other end, getting your wobbly legs underneath you to disembark the ride, please remind us it is in fact going to be okay 😉

Published April 2021