An offended friend is harder to win back than a fortified city. Arguments separate friends like a gate locked with bars. Proverbs 18:19 (NLT)

We need each other. God created us for community. Psalm 133:1 (NIV) says, “How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!” Yet, we can easily be offended by the words or actions of another, especially someone close to us. This results in us quickly building walls to protect ourselves. Be offended once. Build the walls. Typically those walls stay up with everyone regarding everything.

The truth is, we are easily offended when we make everything about ourselves. 

Back to a time when I was worrying about my weight and self-conscious about how I looked, I felt as if everyone must be judging me. I hated to go to a gathering because I immediately compared myself to others then left thinking that they were talking about me behind my back. Surely they were saying things like, “She looks like she’s gained weight. Did you see what she was wearing? No wonder she’s single.” How embarrassing to admit these thoughts, but these are the kinds of thoughts that lead to living an offended life. Offenses I created in my own mind. Why? Because I was only thinking about myself. 

Living an easily offended life is not fun. It’s uncomfortable. It’s lonely. You might think you’re protecting yourself, but you’re really distancing yourself from what God created you for: community. Even among friends, you’re guarded and hesitant to connect.

Take your hurts, insecurities, and offenses to the Lord. Ask Him to heal you then to give you a fresh perspective. Consider how the hurts and insecurities of others are impacting their actions. Start giving the benefit of the doubt and consider a different perspective, one in which things aren’t about you. This shift will be freeing and will allow you to show care and compassion for others who are hurting. 

Action Step: Commit to giving the benefit of the doubt this week and remember that we only see a small glimpse of what’s going on behind the scenes of someone else’s life.

Happy Sunday!

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